Lately I've been thinking that my blog might be a little bit sugary. A bit too much syrup on the pancake, extra cream in the coffee, a few too many chocolate chips in the cupcakes, and maybe just a smidge to many rainbows and unicorns. So I had a long hard think about all of this. And this is what I thought.
I'm not pure as the driven snow by any means, nor am I a 'light' sort of person. Just ask Viki, Beccy, Kate, Fiona, Vanessa, Becks, Sara, Michele, Holli and Jan, to name but a few. I'm pretty intense, can be complicated, have multi-layers and I like to get to the root of a person, I'm really not too interested in the small talk. I spent years sitting on the fence, because I was afraid to use my own voice and didn't want to offend anyone. It's taken me a while to realise that if people don't like me or understand me - that's fine. I've dealt with it, accepted it, and got over it. With such diversity and so many personalities in the world, it's not possible to be liked by one and all. And would we really want it that way? Would it make the world more or less interesting? I know what I think.
My friends, family and all who know me, know that at times, (yep, I know exactly who is nodding in agreement), I am capable of bitching and moaning, as much as the next person. They know that my life isn't always sugary sweet and that sometimes the hill is steep. But...what I have learned, especially lately, is that inside - where all the cogs and wheels turn (albeit at different rates according to the time of day, situation, mood etc), I am ultimately a rainbows and unicorns person. I can't deny it and I won't pretend to be any different. Because these are the moments that matter most to me. These are the thoughts that I cherish, and these are the memories that I will take to my grave. The darker shades of me are very much there, always present and not denied. They give me the depth to see things as they are, and the pain to be able to understand and be grateful for all sweet yummy stuff, of which there is plenty.
As I think is true of most writers, (and I mean writers in every sense, ranging from writing a sentence, a letter, an email, a blog, to a novel, an article or a masterpiece), I feel a responsibility to all who read my words. When they take the time to click on a link or spend precious moments of their day with me, I want to be sure that they don't feel let down. I want to know that they connect and understand why I have written the piece or why I chose to express myself in that way....
...which brings me full circle back to rainbows and unicorns. I've realised that that's just me, that I am a rainbows and unicorns kind of a girl. I make no apologies for it. When I always thought I was a 'my glass is half empty' person, it's a revelation to realise that really I'm a 'glass is half full' chick. Seriously, y'all don't know how happy this makes me, I was always so envious of those sparkly full glasses. Like a little girl standing on the edge of a scene, watching other kids play and not being invited. Well, actually that's more of a memory, but that's another story....;)
So if reading my stuff makes you want to reach for the sick bucket, then just don't read it. It won't offend me at all. I am what I am, I can't please everyone and I will continue to keep it real. I write about what makes me tick, what floats my boat and the world as I see it. There will be times (probably) when the sugar in my words won't sound as sweet. When you'll taste something savory, spicy or even bitter...so don't give up hope if you find me a bit sickly - but those Rainbows and Unicorns - they ain't going away!
Speaking of which...here is something pretty darn sweet. It's todays perfect little sugar-knob and it's as rainbowy and unicorny as they come.
'My Daddy hugging me and Lucy in the garden' by Poppy.
This canvas is lovingly hung on the wall, and I'll never tire of looking at it. SUGAR tastes good!
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