More Yin, Less Yang

When you have to stop and wonder if you're able,  or if you have the ability to change things that we have no control over,  if there is some way in which you can physically put an end what seems like months of a long chain of bad luck, it makes you feel small.  Small and powerless, that's how I feel.  And sad that I can't seem to physically make things right for this family that I love. Sad that my Husband feels that he shouldn't get out of bed in the morning, for if he does, something else will surely break, go wrong, or put us on a whole other level of difficulty.  He feels responsible for all of it, and there isn't a thing I can do to alleviate his guilt.

We all have our struggles, memories of times in our lives that we look back on and sigh a big sigh of relief that we're not still there, in that place that dragged us down and made us feel as though we were trying to run through quick-sand.  I'm pretty sure that I'm in one of those times and I'm hoping that one day this will all be just a memory, that I'll look back and feel grateful to have come out of the other side of it, feel happy in the knowledge that my little family pulled through.

But why are the challenging and hard sometimes so unbalanced?  Why must we go through chunks of time when the yin is faded to almost nothing and the yang is 'rockin it out' like the diva that it can be? Honesty, I have no answer, all I know is that at some point, and at certain times, that wonderful thing called good old fashioned luck gets sucked right out of the equation, and all you are left with is one giant upward struggle.  That small insignificant thing that began the whole chain of unfortunate events has snowballed into what looks like a mountain and it's coming avalanche-ing towards you.

We still manage to find our Yin.  Fragments of it invade our days, shining through the dark and leaving us with moments like this..

 

Which is how I'm happy to say, I know I we will make it through the other side.  But I gotta say, right about now, Yin, wherever you are - there is a big empty space in the Wood household, with your name on it!

Queensland Flood Clean-up Begins

The floods have come and gone.  They've swirled, stormed and streamed through parts of Queensland, leaving their mark.  Homes have been underwater, lives have been destroyed and some families are left with nothing more then the clothes on their backs.

We spent an agonising few days at the beginning of the week wondering and waiting...not really knowing how we would be effected and hoping that our little town wouldn't be one of them.  But it was.  High on the Bellbowrie Chase, we were one of the lucky ones and it's been heartbreaking to see our friends, many of whom lost so much.

These images are just before the peak of the floods, in our suburb, Bellbowrie.

Roads were unrecognisable and water was up to the tops of the trees.

Power was turned off due to power lines being submerged and we had a few days of 'sink bathies', candlelight and boiling cups of tea on our BBQ gas ring.  Low food supplies meant a bit of improvisation but going back to the basics helped opened 'little eyes' to how much they have now and how blessed we all are.

Today, the clean up began.  Hundreds of people coming together to help out, deliver food, cook meals, clean out houses, sift through the debis, shelter the homeless, and lend a hand in whichever way they could.  It was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.  

This is Birkin Rd, where Poppy went to Kindy, where we used to go to buy our food before our gorcery store suffered floods up to the ceiling, and where a lot of our friends live.  Houses coated in mud, inside and out, furniture lying in soaked and stained piles on the front lawns, people with brooms, gurneys and sheer will-power to do whatever it takes to help out.  

The people of Queensland certainly know how to pull together, it's a pretty amazing place when disasters hit.

As for my lot..it's back to a bit of normality.

 And if they take anything at all from all of this, it has to be to count their blessings and be thankful and grateful for all that they have in this unpredictable world.  It's an awful lot compared to some.

I'd like to say a special thank you to Paula and Tom, our friends who helped us so much this week when we were without power and supplies.  And another one to Andrea - thanks so much honey for your constant support and info. xx

It never rains...

but it pours, and pours and pours!

Not since 1974 has Queensland suffered floods like this...and I say like this because its worse now then it was then.  Houses are flooding, buildings are underwater and people are being swept away.  We've all been put on flood warnings for the next 48hours and we won't know how things will pan out, until we're out the other side of it, hopefully still safe and dry.

The kids have been housebound for weeks and now they literally can't leave, we've stocked up on enough food for the next few days and our local supermarket (we are told) will be under water this time tomorrow.

It's a waiting game...

The little ones have been managing to keep themselves amused, but I think that the stir-craziness is getting to them...

Not a lot else to do, but wait...wait

Pick your nose...  wait some more...

pretend to be E.T.

Kiss everything in sight...

And trust your parents when they tell you that they have provisions...

Yes, we may be in Oz, but we're still British and bloody proud of it!  Off to pour myself a large one and maybe also pack a small bag!

Queensland Rain

I really don't need to say much more...it's mad weather at the moment here, and there is only one person who seems to think it's kinda fun...

Oh yes, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!  

Come What May

It's been on my mind lately.  I haven't posted and I dislike 'unhealthy gaps'.  I want to be consistent but my ongoing struggle to only want to post the positive, has created a void.  Yesterday I decided I would post, come what may.  So here we are and I'm feeling sick to my stomach with worry for my family but still I'm determined to create a happy post.  It's actually not that difficult either, despite this being quite honestly the hardest December that I can remember.

A few days ago, whilst trying to hold back the emotions that were once again bubbling up to the surface, I mentioned to the world (in a facebook status), that I wished I could stop the pain, wished I could wrap my family up in cotton wool.  My 'fix it' Husband decided to comment back, gently reminding me that we wouldn't enjoy the good times half as much if life were perfect all the time.  That the great times were so much sweeter having weathered the storms.  I didn't know whether to smack him or hug him for pointing this out to me.  Even from his hospital bed, where he has been for 12 days and for the most part alone and scared, he is able to make perfect sense.  And the piece of me that just wanted to wallow in self-pity and be allowed to do so, realised that there was no place in my world for that indulgent behavior.

That while I have this little face around, I absolutely cannot forget how lucky I am..

That while I have this child to laugh with, I can't be anything but grateful..

And these are just two of quite a few other reasons why I have to take a deep breath, gather myself together and take all that life throws my way.

Here is another one...

I'm not allowed to make a big deal out of this, (because she's a private little thing, this one) and wants nothing more then to be left out of the blogging equation right now...but it was her Birthday yesterday.   My beautiful girl has been in my life for 16 years and Oh my goodness, she's made it so much richer, happier, greater.  I can't think about it for too long, because I've shed enough tears this past week...so I'll gulp back a few more and post a couple of shots that we took together in South Bank on her special day.

And while I know I'll have the odd hiccup of 'woe is me' from time to time, or a moment of solitude that might release a tear drop or two - with this much specialness surrounding me, I can get through it.  I don't have to go far to search for reasons to be glad that I'm on this earth or to wish to continue on my journey, come what may.