Come What May

It's been on my mind lately.  I haven't posted and I dislike 'unhealthy gaps'.  I want to be consistent but my ongoing struggle to only want to post the positive, has created a void.  Yesterday I decided I would post, come what may.  So here we are and I'm feeling sick to my stomach with worry for my family but still I'm determined to create a happy post.  It's actually not that difficult either, despite this being quite honestly the hardest December that I can remember.

A few days ago, whilst trying to hold back the emotions that were once again bubbling up to the surface, I mentioned to the world (in a facebook status), that I wished I could stop the pain, wished I could wrap my family up in cotton wool.  My 'fix it' Husband decided to comment back, gently reminding me that we wouldn't enjoy the good times half as much if life were perfect all the time.  That the great times were so much sweeter having weathered the storms.  I didn't know whether to smack him or hug him for pointing this out to me.  Even from his hospital bed, where he has been for 12 days and for the most part alone and scared, he is able to make perfect sense.  And the piece of me that just wanted to wallow in self-pity and be allowed to do so, realised that there was no place in my world for that indulgent behavior.

That while I have this little face around, I absolutely cannot forget how lucky I am..

That while I have this child to laugh with, I can't be anything but grateful..

And these are just two of quite a few other reasons why I have to take a deep breath, gather myself together and take all that life throws my way.

Here is another one...

I'm not allowed to make a big deal out of this, (because she's a private little thing, this one) and wants nothing more then to be left out of the blogging equation right now...but it was her Birthday yesterday.   My beautiful girl has been in my life for 16 years and Oh my goodness, she's made it so much richer, happier, greater.  I can't think about it for too long, because I've shed enough tears this past week...so I'll gulp back a few more and post a couple of shots that we took together in South Bank on her special day.

And while I know I'll have the odd hiccup of 'woe is me' from time to time, or a moment of solitude that might release a tear drop or two - with this much specialness surrounding me, I can get through it.  I don't have to go far to search for reasons to be glad that I'm on this earth or to wish to continue on my journey, come what may.

Editing, editing, editing....

I love it, but it takes up so much precious time.  I'm not complaining, its time well spent if it makes people happy so I don't really mind.  I'm pretty sure that my long suffering husband is ready to throw me and my camera out of the window...but he also gets my passion, and is usually happy to let me just do my thing.

But my mouse finger was feeling it today, so we took some time away from the computer, away from editing...to blow the cobwebs away at the park..

Its good to play when the sun is out..

Because you never know how long it will last!

Back to the editing, I think! :)

Mt Coot-tha

A few weeks ago, we took this boy to the Botanical Gardens at Mt Coot-tha.

It was just one of those 'spur of the moment' things, and for one reason or another, only one of our seven children was available.  I can count on one hand how often David and I venture out anywhere with only one kiddo - it's pretty rare.

I wanted to see what potential this place has for family photo shoots - and turns out it has a lot.  I snapped up a few 'trials' using the models that were on hand.  I'm not saying that they were willing - but they did stand where I put them, momentarily.

I love the bamboo...

Beautiful fresh vibrant summer colours.

And nature flying, swimming crawling and slithering everywhere you look.

I stood directly beneath this big boy and did stop to wonder if he was full enough from the possum shaped bulge in his stomach, or whether he might jump down, coil his huge body around me until I suffocated and then eat me up too.  Apparently, he's just one of about 4 'regular' monster Pythons that you might bump into while wandering around the gardens.

Yes, we quite liked this place, (apart from having to have our pictures taken - smile Joey!), and I have a feeling we'll be visiting it fairly often!

Just time to stop off at the Mt Cooth-ha lookouts Summit restaurant for a spot of lunch and a quick look at Brisbane through the glass!

Lots of Jelly-Beans

It's not easy being sentimental.  Always trying to hold onto time, to stop the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years from flying by.  At least ten times a day, (and probably more), I watch a precious moment happen in front of my eyes, and my heart constricts as I realise it's one more moment that has come and gone, one more piece of time that I can't hold onto.  I seriously could do with a quick hard smack around the chops sometimes to bring myself out of my constant time passing revelations..but then I remember that I'm not alone.  There are sweet Mamas all around me tearing up even as I type this.  

They know exactly how I feel. They wonder if they are the only ones feeling like an emotional wreck as another childs baby tooth falls out.  As another knee is grazed and kissed.  As they let go of little hands on the first day of Kindy.  As they walk back to their homes, with big wet tears rolling down their cheeks because somebody else gets to watch their baby today.   I am not alone, I'm normal...soppy but normal, and that is just fine with me.

And as you can see...my baby hasn't put away her baby things just yet.  She's still a titchy tiny little scrap and she is clinging onto her babyhood, just like her sentimental Mama...

Can you imagine how big this thing was when she was a newborn? 

Normally, she's quite happy to leave it in her cot...but I honestly couldn't prize it away from her all day.  I think it might have something to do with Daddy leaving last night...

Nothing but nothing, was parting her from this big piece of moulded rubber...

Not for anyone...

The others didn't care.  They loved her and kissed her and it was just another lovely warm day in Oz for them..

I did manage to finally sneak it away, her baby sucky, that she still clings onto whenever I let her...but she wanted to know...'weer is it Mama?'

Hehe!!! No, I don't think I'm gonna fess up, little one!

And she soon forgot her childish thing, her piece of security, as we played in the grass.  Another perfect moment in time for me with my babies surrounding me and my happy revelation that I really am a 'glass half full' kind of a girl, even when I'm being soppy and crying over moments gone.  

And actually a glass half full of water just didn't cut it today - far better to be a jar half full of jelly-beans, and then share the other half with your little memory makers..

P.S.  We might possibly have eaten slightly more then half a jar! 

She's This Many.....

How can it be?  Five years have passed since we first met our little American girl.  It seems as though it was just a few weeks ago, that she was placed in my arms all swaddled up like a burrito and desperately trying to focus on me through the anti-bacterial gel that they put on babies eyes in the US.
The most unusual birth I've ever had.  The first and only epidural, and with about 10 midwives and doctors in the room at the same time - quite full on and slightly comical when I look back.   Not quite as funny though when they left me in the room alone with my newborn on the bottom of the bed, which then collapsed because it hadn't been put back together properly.  Still unable to move my legs, I just about managed to catch the edge of the blanket she was wrapped in and grab hold of my little bundle before we both went crashing to the floor....  Did I mention that it was a training hospital? ;)

But, we both lived to tell the tale...and it hasn't fazed her one bit..

Poppy, Gabs and bear-bear, still inseparable...just as they were all those years ago.  Most mornings I still find Poppy curled up in the same bed as her sister, they seem to sleep better when in each others arms, it's the sweetest thing.

This year, something a little different and quirky was called for.  We've had so many cupcakes lately and Poppy is one very original little girl...so we ditched the cutesy cakes, and went for a bizarre doughnut pyramid, complete with coloured Mermaids..  It made me chuckle as I was balancing them all, but it kinda worked I think!

Her time at Kindy is coming to an end, just a few more weeks together with her and her friends, until it's the end of another era.  Some of them will be going onto Prep together, but the rest, onto different schools...which made her party all the more important.  One of the last times outside of Kindy that we'd see them all together.  15 little princes and princess arrived...and opened presents...

and created...

They ran around like little royal loonies..

threw some moves on the dance floor...

and blew out sparkling candles on a crazy doughnut cake...

Another wonderful year has flown by watching this sweet little curly princess grow.  This special girl who probably tells me that she loves her Mama about 50 times a day.  Wishing for many more years like this, because I feel exactly the same about her.