Gentle Days!

Just chillin today....with my girl.  I love these days with her alone, just the two of us. We do stuff.  We hang out and she's so very funny.

The quirkiest sense of humour for such a little doll, and the dirtiest laugh I've ever heard from an eighteen month old!

At the moment she's into blueberries and raisons in a big way...although I think she's developing a thing for potato chips.  I've had to bungee shut the cupboards, or she'll pull out packet after packet, toddle over to me and with the biggest grin on her face say 'I wanna yummies, yeah?'  And I watch her little face fall as I prize them out of her hot little hands and put them away again.  'No Lulie, no sharp crispies for you, sorry'.  I know she thinks I'm so mean!

She's not an inside girl at all...I just know she wants to be in the heart of the world, hanging out inside our house for too long, doesn't cut it!

 I can only take so much of her gazing longingly out of the window...before I cave and we go off exploring the usual places in the garden...

Well that's more like it..

I can't imagine being in my garden without this little shadow anymore.  The only place where she won't cling onto me, or want me to pick her up.  The freedom entices her and she's happy to become her alter ego, 'Lulu the Brave'.

But even this little munchkin can have too much of a good thing.  As naptime approaches, she gives it away that it's time to go inside, and curl up in her cot for an hour or so, ready for the next garden adventure.

'I'm not tired Mummy, really I'm not!'

And as with most beautiful things, there is another story here...

....Sweet vintage top, curtesy of my friend Robyn, lovingly passed down from her little sweetie, Lila, previously owned by my mate Melissas little darling, Mia.  And beautiful flower clip made by my other talented friend, Andrea!  Lucy and I love them, so thank you. And Meg tells me that little  Zo is next in line for this piece of clothing...brilliant!

For you, Joe!

This is for you Joe, because I finally took some photos of you that you liked enough to ask me to make my desktop picture.  Because you struggle every day with confidence, and because you are the most sensitive little boy soul that I know.

I love your face, I love your thoughts and dreams, I love your kindness, I love you inside and out...and I'm so happy that these pictures made you smile!

And also because your Daddy is away, and he misses you too.  This is for you David.
 
Your Son wants me to tell you that he's doing a great job looking after me while you're away and that he's taken to reading a book each night, 'just like Daddy' whilst snuggled up on your side of our bed before he goes to sleep.

If I could capture this little face and bottle these moments with my boy forever, I would!

A Different Era

Black and White.  I love it.  Back when I was a kid, and when little girls used to continuously ask each other 'what's your favourite colour', I never really knew how to answer.  Blue was my favourite bright beautiful vibrant colour, but the answer I always wanted to give, was black and white - together!  No wonder I'm so captured by black and white pictures.  There's a purity to them that colour can't capture.  Almost like being hearing impaired.  Take away the pretty distractions and what you are looking at becomes so much clearer.

Plus the fact that really I should've been living my whole life in the 40's and 50's.  I can just see myself in a frilly apron tied at the waist, high heels, red lipstick, pin curled waves in my hair and holding freshly baked cookies straight out of the oven.  Obviously this whole scene is in black and white!

Lately we've all been getting our 'retro' on and I've been subjecting my kids to the same 'treatment'.  I'm quite liking the results..

Ok, maybe the sparkly drama princess t-shirt hauls you right back into the year 2010, but I'm willing to overlook these small details..

Now I'm sure this girl is straight out of a advert for Lux Soap Powder.  Although she probably should be sitting in a  small tin tub, surrounded by bubbles..

Now that I think about it, how on earth am I ever going to go back to colour pictures again!!

Even the slightly fuzzy ones, (due to very wriggly babies), are cute.

Definitely glad we went with the dark chocolate brown nail polish..

Giving me her best 'old fashioned' look here.

Yup, black and white - still my favourite.  And now if anyone asks me, I'll tell them so.


And something else really cool.  Some of which is thanks to a lovely lady who has her own really sweet blog, Life is Like a Box of Chocolates, I have learnt how to post picture sets, Taadaaa!  Something I've wanted to do for a while now, so I'm a happy girl!

Rainbows and Unicorns

                          Self Portrait of Miss Poppy Emma Wood, aged 4 & 3/4

Lately I've been thinking that my blog might be a little bit sugary.  A bit too much syrup on the pancake, extra cream in the coffee, a few too many chocolate chips in the cupcakes, and maybe just a smidge to many rainbows and unicorns.  So I had a long hard think about all of this.  And this is what I thought.

I'm not pure as the driven snow by any means, nor am I a 'light' sort of person.  Just ask Viki, Beccy, Kate, Fiona, Vanessa, Becks, Sara, Michele, Holli and Jan, to name but a few.  I'm pretty intense, can be complicated, have multi-layers and I like to get to the root of a person,  I'm really not too interested in the small talk.  I spent years sitting on the fence, because I was afraid to use my own voice and didn't want to offend anyone.  It's taken me a while to realise that if people don't like me or understand me - that's fine.  I've dealt with it, accepted it,  and got over it.  With such diversity and so many personalities in the world, it's not possible to be liked by one and all.  And would we really want it that way?  Would it make the world more or less interesting?  I know what I think.

My friends, family and all who know me, know that at times,  (yep, I know exactly who is nodding in agreement), I am capable of bitching and moaning, as much as the next person.  They know that my life isn't always sugary sweet and that sometimes the hill is steep.  But...what I have learned, especially lately, is that inside - where all the cogs and wheels turn (albeit at different rates according to the time of day, situation, mood etc), I am ultimately a rainbows and unicorns person.  I can't deny it and I won't pretend to be any different.  Because these are the moments that matter most to me.  These are the thoughts that I cherish, and these are the memories that I will take to my grave.  The darker shades of me are very much there, always present and not denied.  They give me the depth to see things as they are, and the pain to be able to understand and be grateful for all sweet yummy stuff, of which there is plenty.

As I think is true of most writers, (and I mean writers in every sense, ranging from writing a sentence, a letter, an email, a blog, to a novel, an article or a masterpiece),  I feel a responsibility to all who read my words.  When they take the time to click on a link or spend precious moments of their day with me, I want to be sure that they don't feel let down.  I want to know that they connect and understand why I have written the piece or why I chose to express myself in that way....

...which brings me full circle back to rainbows and unicorns.  I've realised that that's just me, that I am a rainbows and unicorns kind of a girl.  I make no apologies for it.  When I always thought I was a 'my glass is half empty' person, it's a revelation to realise that really I'm a 'glass is half full' chick.  Seriously, y'all don't know how happy this makes me, I was always so envious of those sparkly full glasses.  Like a little girl standing on the edge of a scene, watching other kids play and not being invited.  Well, actually that's  more of a memory, but that's another story....;)

So if reading my stuff makes you want to reach for the sick bucket,  then just don't read it.  It won't offend me at all.  I am what I am, I can't please everyone and I will continue to keep it real.  I write about what makes me tick, what floats my boat and the world as I see it.  There will be times (probably) when the sugar in my words won't sound as sweet.  When you'll taste something savory, spicy or even bitter...so don't give up hope if you find me a bit sickly - but those Rainbows and Unicorns - they ain't going away!

Speaking of which...here is something pretty darn sweet.  It's todays perfect little sugar-knob and it's as rainbowy and unicorny as they come.

'My Daddy hugging me and Lucy in the garden' by Poppy.
 
This canvas is lovingly hung on the wall, and I'll never tire of looking at it.  SUGAR tastes good!

A Good Man

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today. Which is actually weird, when you think about it since the man that I love has only just stepped out of the door.  But I think it was watching him pack his cases again, as I have done for the 13 years that we've been together, that was making me think back to all the other times that he's had to leave his house and this family.   He's such a good man.  Such a good good man.  He's not perfect, but god knows (or someone does) that nobody is.  He has these annoying habits that drive me to distraction.  Not the sort of habits that grow over the years until you can't stand it, just the sort of habits that make you throw your arms up, sigh and roll your eyes, and try to hide the smile that you almost can't hide because it's just him.  It's just the way he is.

The first time I left him, we were just friends, close friends but friends nonetheless and we were both 17.  Neither of us guessed (he tells me he knew all along, but I think he must be kidding), that ten years later, we would fall in love.  I had been in such a lonely dark place, and was just coming out of it, finding myself, having fun being single with no intention of ever tying myself down again.  I took the longest to fully appreciate what I had found when this man walked into my life.  Slowly but very surely it dawned on me that this was the defining moment for me.  Not because I'm not my own person, not because I can't go it alone, I'm not afraid of that in the slightest.  But because, my life is a better one with this man in it and because whenever he walks out of that door, I still have the overwhelming urge to put my arms around him and beg him not to go.

This familiar sight made me sad this morning.  His case by the door, packed and waiting.

It's been around the world and back again so many times, beaten up, scratched and with his frequent flier tag to prove it.

Because he's a good man, and good men just do all this good stuff without even being asked, yesterday he did what he always does, and some.   He filled up my car with fuel to the brim.  He shopped then filled up the fridge and cupboard with groceries.  He took his daughter to town to exchange something.  He cleaned and checked the pool.  He ordered a last meal for all of us so I wouldn't have to cook.  He played with his kids.  He hugged his wife and he made sure that his long check list was all checked off so that we wouldn't have anything to worry about.  He's not the most demonstrative man in the world, but he shows me in a hundred little ways that he cares, and that makes me smile.

So does the way that he still looks at me.

I suppose that as much as I hate it, him leaving so often and for so long, has made me strong,  its has helped me become the woman that I am. I can cope without him and I do. I know that when he goes I miss him for the right reasons.  It's because I just want him here with me not because I can't be alone.  It's because he makes me happy and it's because he's absolutely my lobster.

So while the kids were playing....happy and oblivious..

he packed up the last of his stuff, including Puff the Magic Dragon....

until soon it was time to go...

and I watched my best friend leave our house, once again.

I'm not going to be sad, I'm not going to cry, (well maybe a little a bit later tonight when the kids are all in bed), and I'm not going to feel down.  I'm just going to count the freddo frogs.  Just one of the other things that my good man did yesterday, so that the kids can have one a day and count down the time until they see him again.  I'm going to count them too, and just think about the day that he walks back through that door again.

                        

A Year and a Half!

There really isn't much else to say on the matter.  So I'll just post a few pictures of my girl who is every bit as cute, naughty, cheeky, lovable, and mischievous as she looks...

Does my bum look big in this?

Even big bro thinks she's kind of cute, in an annoying sort of way!

Busy busy busy, is my little Bee.  She doesn't stop, from the moment she wakes up to the moment she finally decides to sleep....Zzzzzzz!  She's exhausting, but in the best way and I treasure every second that I spend with her.

I love you lil Lulie-Belle, my funny little boop boop de doops!

Two Little Twirls!

When did this happen?  When did my two little girls grow up so fast?  How did I miss this - the blonde one is almost the same height as the dark one.

 The gap has narrowed, in more ways then one and as I prepare for the youngest to join her sister at High School soon, I can't help but wonder where the years have gone. When did this sweet little goofy thing turn into this beauty?

 And when did this this little angel become such a wise and lovely young Woman?

 Some days, it just works.  Some days, it's the best feeling being a Mother, watching your children interact with eachother.   You have to grab these moments, especially with teens, because they come and go.

I spent yesterday afternoon watching these two....

Gabsie and Daisy.  They are so very different.  They are like chalk and cheese, rather then carrots and peas.  One is compassionate, intuitive and serious, the other is frivolous, cute and funny.  Some days they are like one of a half, that when put together, fits beautifully.  That was today.

I look at them together, and it makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time.  This was me and my sisters once.  My girls will always have eachother.  They will share memories, stories, laughter, heartache and sadness. They will be forever linked.  And if I'm very very lucky, I'll get to share some of their memories too, as I did today. 

This is the stuff that dreams are made of.  This is the stuff that I treasure, that I will never take for granted.

Thank you girls for being you, for making your Mama happy, and still being little once in a while!